Team Chao Eating Bratwurst and Drinking Beer at Oktoberfest, Snowbird, UT, 8.31.2003
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We
are the Chao's: an agile, powerful, and robust team capable of rapidly
assessing a critical situation and re-aligning our strategic assets
to quell opposing threats in a swift, forceful, and decisive manner.
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Tactical Squad Members
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Chin-Cheng Chao |
"Number One", aka "Dabbie Kooka". Co-owner of Chao's Trading Company, expertise in enhancing plant cellular metabolism utilizing formulations of inorganic material combined with time-lapsed organic carbon matter, scaler of tall mountains, collector of unique rocks, singer of songs with heavy creative lyrical license, poet, philosopher, and steak-lover. |
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Weina Chao |
"Number Two". Co-owner of Chao's Trading Company, specializes in control of human salivary glands via stimulation of nasal and oral sensory cells utilizing heat-denatured DNA and other cellular matter, chief of security through use of Tai-Chi expertise, lead tactician for Costco Shopping Strategy, manager of home fort operations, expert block circler, and eater of small snacks. |
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Victor Chao |
"Number Three". Chemical engineer, technical advisor, rock Sherpa for Number One, expert in p-tex/subcooled dihydrogen monoxide interface and slippage, creator of dissonant sounds via a cellulose-based soundbox driven by carbon-chain based strands, and human food disposal. |
| "Number Four", aka "Blendy". Molecular Biology PhD candidate at Harvard, expert on fashion and items of high expense and elevated taste, master of condo demolition and remodeling, renowned expert on creating sinusoidal wave formations on asphalt utilizing a parallel board mounted with quad-rotational inertial load-bearing cylinders, and Scooper-Bowl Champion. |
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chaos
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